Speech Results

Ratings-Straight ones!! for every single group!
Mood-PUMPED!!
Amanda's Mental status-still freaking because I have to perform AGAIN in 2 saturdays! ahhhhhhhhh!

Speech

Large group speech contest:
Leaving-7 hours
Performing-9 1/2 hours
Amanda's mental wellbeing-FREAKING out.
Results: coming soon to a blog near you.

Stupid post-viral tracheitus

I have been sick for 4 almost 5 months. I haven't been able to sing(well. ok i never sing well but sing to my normal ability). This makes me sad because I love to sing. Whenever I am feeling,well, anything there is always a song to go along with it. And I can sing along and either make the feeling go away or get better. I cant sing for more than 5 minutes without my throat hurting. stupid post viral tracheitis! but thats not even the worst part. My choir teacher told me that she had that and it ruined her voice. She can't sing for long at a time and she never really got better cuz her vocal cords were damaged. "awesome" im thinking. i might not be able to sing like i used to for the rest of my life. and now i think im getting something else. like coming down with a cold or something. i woke up this morning and my voice-the talking kind- was gone. again i think "awesome i cant talk now, or sing". it kinda came back but is very painful and scrathcy.I guess it didnt really bother me until we were greeting in church this morning and i was discussing speech with a speechers parent. Suddenly a terrifying thought hit me. "we have district large group speech contest on saturday!!!!!" at first i was excited but anxious. and then i realized that i cant talk. its speech!!!! and i cant talk!!!!! I HAVE TO YELL IN ONE ACT AND I CAN HARDLY TALK!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so in conclusion i am FREAKING out. and ive taken a vow of silence for the week. i will only talk when it is required. and i will not sing or even try :(

Tutoring

I was asked by my guidance counselor last semester to start tutoring in a special aid room. I began tutoring 2 7th grade boys in reading. I didn't really enjoy it that much but I was getting volunteer hours from it. That was why I decided to do it. Sometimes it was inconvenient if I had homework to do but that was ok. The boys were fun and I enjoyed the teachers also. But as the semester went on I started really enjoying it. I looked forward to seeing the boys and the teachers. I realized that I can make a difference to the boys. And the rest of the kids in the room. We dont really do a whole lot of work but when we do do things the boys are improving. I can tell it from just a few months with them. We also play a lot of games in Mrs. Tinder's room. When the boys and I didnt have any work to do we play Mancala or War or Uno or Garbage or whatever. This morning we played war and laughed a lot. It was good times.One of the boys is a very grumbly sort. I come 1st period so he is still pretty tired and cranky. I think that is why i was frustrated in the beginning. He can be very difficult to work with and I respect Mrs. Tinder and Mrs. Flug for doing it. I didn't think the boys liked me or were getting anything. But I came anyway and felt bad when I missed. I realized that I was making a difference to my boys and helping the teachers out a ton! So I have decided to continue to tutor and not only am I tutoring my boys 1st period every other day but I decided to use my other study hall 6th period every day and am now helping the other kids in the room. It's a great experience and I am glad I decided to do it.

My family.

It's a very weird feeling to be experiencing two or three very different emotions at the same time...about the same thing. I was uploading a bunch a pictures from the old youth group and People City. I look at these pictures and they make me really happy. I look and see all the fun we had. I see all the memories we made. I see all the inside jokes and sayings that have come from those great memories. But then I remember that that time of my life is over. I never get those times back. and that depresses me a lot. Now I look at those pictures and see the person I used to be. The version of myself that was happy. The version of myself that didn't have to worry about certain stuff. The version of myself that no matter what, if I was a youth group everything would be fine. Everything would turn out alright. Because I had the people that are the very most important to me. The people that are my family.but they weren't like my actual family. My actual family has to put up with me. they have to love me. But i see those pictures and realize that my church family, my youth group loved me because they WANT to. They loved me for me even when they didnt have to. I miss that feeling. I miss my family more than I can express. I'm so grateful to you. And yes, I still have some of you. Jessie, Rachael, Riley, and Maddie. But without Dave and Willie and Haley and Lacy it feels different. It's not the same. You are what made us kids as close as we are. You are what made us family. As sad as I am that you had to leave, as different and a little bit sucky as youth group and church in general feels without you, I'm still happy for you. Im so glad that Dave and Lacy are making a difference in Morganfield, Kentucky and that Willie and Haley have started their new chapter in Sweet Valley, Pennsylvania. I try to be completely happy but its really hard sometimes. Because I miss you all. I miss the old youth group. I guess I feel kind of insecure right now. With the old youth group things made sense. I knew what to expect. But its just weird to not have the sense of security. I think it might be a good thing to be unsure sometimes but that doesnt mean I don't miss it. This probably seeming like its coming out of nowhere but for me, its not. I think about this a lot. Im greatful for everything all of you have taught me. Because even if you didnt realize it you taught me something. I mean all of you. Dave-you taught me a lot about being completely selfless and living radically for Jesus. You taught me that things aren't supposed to make sense if you are living that way. Willie-you taught me to think critically about the Bible and life in general. You taught me to not be happy with being lukewarm. Haley- you taught me what it's like to be a true friend and how important it is to have a true friend. You taught me what kind of Godly woman I want to become.Lacy-you taught me how to love unconditionally and a litte bit how God must feel about us. I see how you are with your kids and Dave. it gives me hope that maybe I can achieve that level of commitment with God, too. Jessie- you taught me what its like to appreciate what you have. You are always happy with what you have and never complain. Rachael- you taught me to not stress so much. Youre always pretty laid back and ive realized that thats a good thing. Riley- youve taught me....hmmm....how to sleep like an old man? no just kidding. youve taught me to have fun and slow down. Maddie-youve taught me to be happy. youre always in a good mood and that puts me in a good mood. Youve also taught me that im not alone in what im feeling and thinking. So I guess all thats left to say is thank you for everything youve all done for me. Thanks for all the memories. Thanks for being there for me through the good and the bad. This kinda sounds like a good bye thing. It's not; its just what was on my mind. I love you all! :)

night

i suck at blogging. good night.

Numb

I haven't blogged in awhile. I just don't feel like it. I was really excited at first but now I just don't know what else to say. I'm in a sad mood constantly. It just doesn't go away. Even the memories that are supposed to make me happy and smile dont. They just make me worse. I think part of it is winter. It just so nasty out and puts me in a bad mood. Stupid snow. I guess I'm also not trying to be happy. I guess I just want to stay this way cuz I'm afraid I will forget. I know it's silly cuz I can never forget what brought me here even if I wanted to. Im kind of numb. UGH!!!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! I am tired of being sick. I just had a coughing fit so bad that I was crying and couldnt breathe. You know what set it off? Laughing. When I am finally laughing again I about die. Awesome. Naturally I didnt have my inhaler. Jess and Matt thought I was going to die and I did to. I have been sick for like 3 months. isn't that long enough? F you linda.